Porn is love you can see.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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