i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just cut my nipple shaving
we made out on top of his cat.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
