Christians are straight up FREAKS
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
