you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
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So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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