As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize