actually, I'm a sock model
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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