The best revenge is premature balding
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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