I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
