suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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