I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
