Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
