How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
