I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
