that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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