I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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