They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
