you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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