I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dear god my vagina.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
