who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she smelled like a LAN party
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
