Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I party with great urgency now.
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