no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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