I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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