Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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