So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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