how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
