guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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