That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
