my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
