I think i peed on brittanys purse
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize