And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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