I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
