If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
