what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
