I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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