Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize