I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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