May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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