He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Say something about gay babies.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
