dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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