im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
