Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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