i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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