dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
