I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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