She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
