I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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