You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
