whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
