just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
