do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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