I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
is that a dick in a sweater?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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