My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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