i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
