So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
