so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
