I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
