Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
