you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
