Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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