i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
