I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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