Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
