Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
