Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize