dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
