he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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