I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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